just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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