Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult