I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.