Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize