Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
