Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
thus making me awesome and them whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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