I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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