Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My dick has a subreddit
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
