i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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