I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
