I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
