I'm really into asian looking animals
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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