the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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