oh god the rape fog is back!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
