nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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