careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
