Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
