ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
