Michael Bay diarrhea
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize