Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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