glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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