Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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