one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
