i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize