Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
