she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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