Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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