Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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