nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
