I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize