WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
