did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
