He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Life is so much better after having sex.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
