girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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