just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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