i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
