Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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