He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
