I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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