I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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