She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish i was in the wii world.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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