i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk is not a location!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
