I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
