Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up under a house in Key West
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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