spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
