I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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