We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
