hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
