I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize