I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
