This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize