i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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