they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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