Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
