He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
