pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
