Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
