Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
