did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have aggressive nipples.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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