The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
