I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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