I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
