would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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