We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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