he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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