hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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