Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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