It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize