New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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