careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
